Goodbye Right Molar #2, Hello Legal Pot Dispensaries in Georgia

The dentist and the dental hygienist were shocked my right molar didn’t hurt when I went for my first teeth cleaning in 10 years. It used to hurt. In 1998 my old dentist filled a large cavity and told me he didn’t think the filling would last 6 months, and I would eventually require a root canal. I’d heard nothing but bad things about root canals, and I began flossing regularly. The tooth endured with no change for 20 years, though it occasionally ached. One evening, I was watching The Walking Dead television show, while snacking on corn chips. I started digging what I mistakenly thought were chewed up corn chips stuck in my right molar, and I pulled out most of that dental work. My right molar never hurt again. By odd coincidence, I later learned my old dentist died suddenly in his office that same week. My new dentist took one look at this molar and said extraction was the only option–not even root canal could save it. I scheduled an appointment to have it removed, but 10 days before this date, it became loose and fell out when I flossed. If I didn’t already have an appointment, I’d leave that spot alone, but the dentist will still want to remove the roots to prevent infection. This procedure shouldn’t be a big deal. He’ll numb the area and use forceps to wiggle the roots free.

Two views of my right molar. A dentist filled this tooth 24 years ago, but he told me he didn’t think the filling would last 6 months. It lasted 20 years, though the tooth often ached. The filling came out the same week he passed away. It stopped hurting. My new dentist suggested extracting it, but it fell out 2 weeks before the appointment.

I want to keep the rest of my teeth and that means regular visits to the dentist. Like a kid, I need an incentive. Kids get candy for being good, so I’m going to give myself adult candy and visit a local cbd smoke shop every time I have a dental appointment. Stores that sell cannabis products are now offering Delta-8 cbd. Illegal marijuana is Delta-9, but chemists use isomerization to change Delta-9 to Delta-8. Delta-8 has the exact same chemical composition as Delta-9, but it has a different structure, so technically it is legal. I wasn’t impressed the first time I tried Delta-8–the high was mild and short-lived. However, smoke shops and convenience stores that sell Delta-8 are not regulated at all, and I believe some of the Delta-8 products they sell have considerable amounts of residual Delta-9. Last time I tried it, I could not tell the difference. The FDA warns there have been hundreds of people who have gone to emergency rooms across the country after consuming Delta-8, but this is out of tens of millions of users. Those people were probably not used to getting high or simply suffered unwarranted paranoia–a side effect of marijuana consumption. I don’t think state authorities are eager to crack down on cbd shops. I think they don’t want people from Georgia traveling to other states to purchase recreational pot because it means lost tax revenue. So pot is basically legal here now.

I reward myself for going to the dentist with a trip to the CBD store. Recreational marijuana is still technically illegal in Georgia, but stores that sell CBD products have found an end run around the law.

Honest, I wasn’t high when this thought occurred to me. What if the human race became extinct, and the only evidence left of our existence was my broken tooth pictured above? How would alien paleontologists exploring our planet imagine what we looked like based on 1 broken tooth? The only evidence of the existence of an extinct ape known as Gigantopithecus blacki is about 60 teeth–no other skeletal remains have been found. This species is thought to have lived from 2 million years BP-300,000 years BP. They lived in jungle environments with acid soils where fossil preservation is rare. Their teeth were found in caves with the remains of stegodon, rhino, tapir, goat, deer, ancestral tiger, hyena, dhole, and bear. Scientists believe they ate forest plants, especially fruit. 15 of the 62 teeth found so far have tooth decay. This species could have used a dentist. Scientists think its closest living relative was the orangutan, but it is believed to have been much larger. In my opinion artists’ depictions are quite fanciful, based on wild guessing.

Paleontologists imagine Gigantopithicus looked like this. The only fossil evidence of this species is some 60 odd teeth. I think this reconstruction is a stretch.

Gigantopithecus teeth.