Breasts were Invisible in Hollywood Movies until the 1940s

I like to watch old movies on Turner Classic. I often joke with my wife that boobs weren’t invented until the 1940’s because silent movie actresses whose careers continued until well into the 1930’s talkie era were flat-chested. I google-searched images of silent movie actresses and confirmed the 56 most famous actresses before World War II wore A-cup bras. Occasionally, little-known actresses with big or at least medium-sized breasts were given bit parts in early movies, but they invariably played maids or matronly figures unimportant to the script. 19th century literature portrayed the ideal woman most desired by men as frail and sickly. Men supposedly pined over helpless women on the verge of their death beds. Love was associated with sadness and a sense of loss. I wonder if this notion influenced early 20th century cinema. Most people were poor, and plenty were malnourished back then, perhaps contributing to smaller average breasts sizes. Maybe, there were simply more flat-chested actresses available for work during this time period.

Clara Bow, a famous silent movie star. The 56 most successful actresses of the silent era and early talkies were all flat-chested.

During World War II America was flexing its muscles, and Americans were becoming more prosperous. Hollywood finally started featuring healthy-looking voluptuous actresses. Howard Hughes produced a western (The Outlaw) that prominently featured Jane Russell’s cleavage. The film, released during 1943, broke barriers and defied censors. Voluptuous women including Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak, and Elizabeth Taylor began to take center stage as the baby boom exploded. Macho war veterans came home from service and impregnated their Mrs. America wives. Women with 36-24-36 figures were the ideal–the opposite of the frail damsels-in-distress so sought after during the previous era.

Jane Russell was the first Hollywood star with big boobs. Howard Hughes featured her breasts prominently in his epic Western, The Outlaw.

Iconic photo of Sophia Loren eyeing Jane Mansfield’s tits. Mansfield was the first actress to perform nude in a mainstream Hollywood movie. Stag movies featuring nude women were among the first films ever made, but they were not distributed to mainstream audiences.

The 1960’s and 1970’s saw a trend of skinny actresses, but full-figured women were no longer completely absent, and they eventually returned to popularity. Even lean actresses rejected the flat-chested look and often chose to have surgically enhanced breasts. A great majority of mainstream actresses have frequent plastic surgery, and porn actresses seek ever-expanding cleavages. There seems to be no limit to how large they will go. I prefer naturally large breasts.

Modern actress Christina Hendricks with her ex-husband Geoffrey Arend. She probably has the largest breasts in Hollywood history. They make Jane Mansfield’s look small. Breasts are modified sweat glands found on all mammals, including the primitive egg-laying monotremes. Wow! Those are some modified sweat glands.

Surprisingly, there are few scientific studies of breasts and culture. The United States is tied with the United Kingdom, Iceland, Norway, and Luxembourg for largest average bra size; but the claim that Americans have the biggest boobs in the world was a hoax. A few years ago, 18 media outlets from The New York Daily Times to Teen Magazine reported a find by The Journal of Female Health Science that Americans had the biggest average boobs in the world. This journal doesn’t exist. I did find 1 scientific study that surveyed men from Brazil, Cameroon, Namibia, and Czechoslovakia on their breast size preference. Most men from those countries preferred medium-sized breasts. Not me. I favor the biggest breasts and the fattest asses. I told my wife, if I outlive her, I will replace her with a sex doll. (Amazon.com sells realistic, voluptuous, life-size sex dolls for a few hundred dollars.) I have gotten particular in my old age, and if a real woman wanted sex with me, she would have to make a minimum weight limit. She would have to weigh at least 170 pounds. I have been making love to a heavyset woman for 30 years, and I am too old to change.

Happy Valentines Day

Reference:

Havlicek, J. et. al.

“Men’s Preference for Women’s Breast Size and Shape in 4 Cultures”

Evolution and Human Behavior 38 (2) 2017

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Congratulations to My Favorite Team–The Georgia Bulldogs

I don’t often write about sports because there are plenty of journalists who cover this popular subject, but it is not every day my favorite team wins the national championship. I decided to become a Georgia Bulldog fan during 1975 when I found out my father was moving us to Athens, Georgia. My first game as a Georgia Bulldog fan was a good introduction–Georgia scored 6 unanswered touchdowns in the first half against Georgia Tech. Since I have become a fan, the Georgia Bulldogs have had 17 10-win seasons and have won 7 SEC championships but until a few days ago just 1 national championship. On social media fans of other schools have trolled Georgia fans unmercifully, making fun of how long it has been since Georgia last won a national championship. 1980 was a long time ago. This criticism has been unfair. Georgia could have won national championships during 2002 and 2007, if there had been a playoff system in place then. Referees robbed Georgia in the 2017 national championship game. All that chatter means nothing now. The 2021 edition of the Georgia Bulldogs shut the trolls down.

This last season the Georgia Bulldogs fielded the best defense in modern college football history, holding regular season opponents to an average of 6.9 points per game. This is astonishing considering the modern era of explosive high scoring offenses. As a fan, I always felt confident when Georgia was on defense and seldom worried the other team was going to score. The defense was led by Jordan Davis, a 6’5″ 350-pound defensive tackle who often ran down running backs. If he was double-teamed, there was no stopping linebackers Nolan Smith and Nakobe Dean and hard-hitting safety Lewis Cine. Georgia was good on offense too with the best tight ends in the nation, a solid running back corps, and former walk-on quarterback Stetson Bennett IV. 4 years ago, I claimed he was the best quarterback on the roster, though he was way down the depth chart. Other fans told me he would never start a game at Georgia. I was right and they were wrong. He is a hero for us short people.

Out of superstition my wife thinks the t-shirt she wears helps Georgia win. I tell her it is not the t-shirt. It is Jordan Davis, the 6’5″ 350 pound defensive tackle who can run down running backs. Photo from rivals.com.

Brock Bowers, a 5 star freshmen tight end who came all the way from California to play for the Dawgs. The difference between a top 3 recruiting class and a top 10 recruiting class is huge, as evidenced in the Orange Bowl this year. Photo from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Georgia crushed all their opponents during the regular season, so it was a deflating shock when Alabama upset them in the SEC championship game. Georgia got back on track and destroyed a very good Michigan Team in the Orange Bowl, setting up a rematch with Alabama in the National Championship game. I didn’t dare get my hopes up. I had picked Georgia to beat Alabama 7 straight times, and I had been wrong 7 times in a row. I always predict the score but declined to make a prediction this time (though the night before the game after 5 glasses of wine I eventually did predict Georgia to win 73-0). My pessimism returned the following day. Georgia’s offense started slowly, but the defense played better this time, pressuring Alabama’s Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback and holding Alabama to field goals instead of touchdowns. Georgia’s coaches made an effective halftime adjustment, moving Jamaree Salyer, their best offensive linemen, from left tackle to right guard. Holes started opening in the middle of the line. Georgia blocked a field goal, and the offense, sparked by a 67-yard run from James Cook, finally punched in a touchdown to take the lead. The referees gave Alabama a touchdown on a terrible call, but their final lead was short-lived. Stetson Bennett IV led the Georgia offense to 2 touchdowns, including a 40-yard bomb to AD Mitchell, and a 12-yard strike to Brock Bowers. With time running out, Alabama threw a desperation pass intercepted and returned for a game-clinching touchdown by Kelee Ringo. Georgia will lose many of their defensive starters to the NFL next year, but 3 of their 4 touchdowns were scored by freshmen. The future is bright, now that Georgia finally broke the drought.

Kelee Ringo’s interception clinched the championship game for Georgia. Photo from 247 Sports.

I am so happy for all the Georgia Bulldog players and fans.

Of Morbid TV Shows and Wrinkly Foreheads

When I was about 4 years old I used to tell people my physician father “cures his patients.” Unfortunately, I had difficulty pronouncing the word, cure, and it sounded more like I was saying my dad “kills his patients.” My parents told me to stop saying that. At the time my dad was trying to build up his practice, and mispronouncing cure into kill didn’t help. I always think of this memory on Tuesday mornings when I start my hangover jog. I binge drink wine every Monday night, then jog in 90 degree heat the next morning, and I figure the exercise will “kill” or “cure” me. Most experts recommend not even going outside in this kind of heat, let alone running over 3 miles in it. I am 59 years old and probably suffer from high blood pressure, so this activity is by far the most hazardous part of my weekly routine. Nevertheless, it’s worth the risk for my psyche. I’d feel old, if I couldn’t do it, and I’d rather be dead than feel old.

I like to watch a television show on the Reelz network known as Autopsy: The Last Hours of… In each episode Michael Hunter examines the lifetime medical records of celebrities and determines exactly how they died. Some of his analysis is laughably unnecessary. For example Jerry Lewis had health problems throughout the later years of his life but lived to the age of 95. Just being the age of 95 should be reason enough for why he died. Frank Sinatra was another non-mystery. He drank a bottle of whiskey and smoked 2 packs of cigarettes every day for 50 years. It’s astonishing he lived to be 80. Other episodes do delve into more mysterious deaths. Luke Perry, star of Beverly Hills 90210, died of a stroke at the reasonably young age of 52. He was seemingly in good health–he exercised regularly and ate an healthy diet. Dr. Hunter did find 1 unexpected factor that may have contributed to his early demise. Perry had deep lines in his forehead, and an unpublished French study found people with deep lines on their forehead have an higher risk of premature death from cardiovascular disease.

Michael Hunter, host of the Reelz series Autopsy: the Last Hours Of. (Channel 238 on DirecTV) He examines the medical details of celebrity deaths.

Luke Perry died at the age of 52 from a stroke. Note the wrinkly forehead. An unpublished French study found people with deep wrinkles on their forehead had an higher risk of dying from cardiovascular disease.

The Luke Perry episode set off alarm bells for me because I have noticed I have a wrinkly forehead. Soon after I watched this episode, I researched the study on the internet. The unpublished results of the study were discussed at a European Medical Symposium during 2018, and a press release was issued detailing the study. It was a 20 year study that looked at 3200 people who were 32, 42, 52, or 62 years old when the study began. Over this 20 year time span 233 of the subjects died. Of the subjects who died, 15% had deep forehead wrinkles, 6% had moderately wrinkled foreheads, and 2% had no wrinkles on their forehead. I immediately noticed the bad math. 15% + 6% +2% = 23%. What about the other 77%? I sent an email to the author of this study asking about this discrepancy but so far have gotten no response. None of the other news outlets that reported the press release mention this disparity. Sciencenewsdaily.com simply plagiarized the press release and repeated the bad math. Other news outlets skipped over it (they must have noticed but said nothing). It may be true that atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) shares a genetic pathway with wrinkly foreheads but until someone explains the goofy math, I’m not going to worry about it. Most of the subjects in the study who died were probably in their 70’s, close to the average life expectancy anyway. I can think of worse ways to die than from a sudden cardiac event. If I die jogging in 90 degree heat while hungover, so be it.

Reference:

Esquirol, Yolande

“Deep Forehead Wrinkles May Signal a Higher Risk for Cardiovascular Mortality”

European Society of Cardiology Press Release 2018

Alfred Hitchcock in 1232 Words and my Favorite 15 Hitchcock Movies

Alfred Hitchcock is my all-time favorite movie director, and I have seen at least 30 of his movies–some multiple times.  I recently read an 800 page biography of Alfred Hitchcock.  For those interested in him but not interested enough to spend 6 weeks reading his biography, I put forth a synopsis of his life, then list my 15 favorite Hitchcock movies.

Alfred Hitchcock with his wife, Alma, and his daughter, Pat.  Today, Pat is 92 years old.

Alfred Hitchcock was born during 1899 in London, England, a child of Catholic parents in a mostly Protestant country.  He was the youngest of 3 children, and his brother and sister were nearly a decade older than him.  His father owned a produce stand, but later took over a fish and chips shop, and the family lived on the 2nd story over the store.  Hitchcock didn’t have friends when he was a child, but instead would watch and observe other children playing.  He frequently attended plays and early silent movies, and by the time he was a teenager he was already reading movie trade publications.  He expressed the desire to become a nautical engineer and attended a technical school for a year.  Hitchcock was 15 years old when his father died of alcoholism.  Hitchcock’s brother took over the fish and chips shop, and Hitchcock got a job working for Henley’s Telegraph and Cable company as a sales clerk.  He was later promoted to the advertising department where he honed his design skills.  He also wrote for the company literary magazine, producing flash fiction notably Hitchcockian–suspenseful with humorous twist endings.  At the age of 21 Hitchcock took a job with Gainsborough Movie Productions writing the title cards for silent movies.  He was then promoted to art director.  Unfortunately, most of these early movies he worked on have been lost.

Hitchcock met his wife, Alma, while working for Gainsborough.  She was already working there when he was first hired.  He hired her when he became director of his first movie, a German film entitled Pleasure Garden. Alma was the love of his life and an important contributor for all of his movies.  She worked on screenplays, edited, and critiqued.  Hitchcock never had any long lasting affairs outside his marriage, but may or may not have gotten occasional blow jobs from actresses (perhaps even Ingrid Bergman).  It’s unclear whether these incidents ever happened.  Hitchcock often told dirty jokes just before filming an actress to put her at ease or to make her feel uncomfortable (whichever response he was trying to elicit for the role).  Most actresses thought this habit was funny, but a few didn’t like it.  Hitchcock likely would have gotten in trouble with the modern #metoo movement today, despite admittedly being incapable of sexual intercourse since the early 1940s due to his weight.  (Oral sex may have been the only sex act he could enjoy.)  Alma also had an unfulfilled love affair with a gay screenwriter.  But Hitchcock and his wife stayed together until the end and deeply cared about each other.

Hitchcock directed 5 movies for Gainsborough Pictures, then 11 for British International Pictures.  His first talking movie was Blackmail made in 1929.  Some British movie producers thought talking movies were just a fad, and one can see the influence making silent movies had on Hitchcock.  His most memorable scenes are visual and need no sound.  Examples include the shower scene from Psycho, the crop duster attack in North by Northwest, and the villain falling off the Statue of Liberty in The Saboteur. 

British International Pictures fired Hitchcock during 1932, and he freelanced Waltzes from Vienna in 1934 before being hired by Gaumont Pictures where he made 8 movies including some pretty good ones such as The 39 Steps and The Lady Vanishes.  His final British movie was Jamaica Inn for Mayflower Pictures with Charles Loughton.

Hitchcock wanted to make movies in America.  In England the weather was bad, often delaying shooting, and British film companies were always in financial difficulty, verging on bankruptcy.  So he signed an insultingly low paying contract with David Selznick Productions, making $50,000 to make 2 movies per year–less than half of what mediocre American directors averaged at the time.  The Hitchcock family moved to California and became American citizens, and soon Hitchcock started making really good movies with fat American budgets and big name stars.

Scene from Vertigo, my favorite Hitchcock movie.  He began his career during the era of silent movies, and his work always reflected that.  His most famous scenes are all visual.

Scene from The Saboteur of a man falling off the statue of liberty.

Famous scene from North by Northwest of Cary Grant being chased by a crop duster.  Hitchcock’s movies didn’t always make logical sense.  Why didn’t the bad guys just have a man with a high powered rifle assassinate him?  I suppose that wouldn’t have been as interesting to watch.

The first American movie Hitchcock directed, Rebecca, won a best producer Oscar for David Selznick.  Selznick loaned Hitchcock out to RKO, Universal Productions, Skirball Productions, and 20th Century Fox; and Hitchcock made a string of critical and commercially successful movies.  He also returned to England for a while and made propaganda films for the British Ministry of Information during World War II. After the war he completed his contract with Selznick Productions by directing Spellbound and The Paradine Case.  The latter and his next 2 movies–Rope and Under Capricorn–were box office flops.  Hitchcock signed his next contract with Warner Brothers and made critical and commercially successful movies including Stage Fright, Strangers on a Train, and Dial M for Murder.  Hitchcock reached his creative zenith during the mid-1950’s through the early 1960’s, making his most famous films.  Rear Window was the 3rd best selling movie of 1954.  He followed this with some of the best movies he ever made–Vertigo, North by Northwest, and Psycho.  

Hitchcock’s television series, Alfred Hitchcock Presents made him a huge celebrity, and by now he was finally making big money.  He produced and hosted the show for a decade from 1955-1965.  During the early seasons he also directed 3-4 episodes a season, though by later years he was directing just 1-2 episodes per season.  But he chose the scripting, screenwriters, and actors for each episode.  The show, an anthology series focusing on unusual murders, was both humorous and suspenseful, and it was an instant hit with critics.  It remained popular and highly rated during its entire run, and the only reason the show ended was because Hitchcock’s health declined, and he no longer had the energy to make movies and produce a television show.

Later Hitchcock movies seem bloated, old-fashioned, and mediocre.  Marnie, Topaz, and Torn Curtain are nothing to get excited about.  But Hitchcock did make 1 really good movie in his later years–Frenzy (filmed in England for Universal Pictures).  Hitchcock’s last movie, The Family Plot, was released in 1976.  By this time Hitchcock was a wealthy man, the third largest stockholder of Universal Pictures.  However, he suffered from obesity and heavy drinking, and 1 day, despite no apparent illness, he went to bed and refused to get up or eat (unusual for a man who enjoyed 4 hour feasts).  He stayed in bed for weeks and died at the age of 80 during 1980–almost as if he willed himself to die.

The American Film Institute periodically ranks the top 100 movies of all time.  One year 4 Hitchcock movies made the top 10 with Psycho as number 1.  Here are my 15 favorite Hitchcock movies.

One: Vertigo–The plot is improbable.  A man afraid of heights fails to save the woman he loves when she falls from a great height.  But she’s not dead.  The man (played by Jimmy Stewart) finds a lookalike (or is it really her?  What?) and tries to dress her to look like his lost love.  I can’t really explain why I love this movie so much.  Perhaps, I admire the weirdness of it all.

Two: North by Northwest–Cary Grant escapes the bad guys by running into an auction where he starts making stupid bids, attracting a police escort to kick him out.  I crack up laughing every time I see this scene.  The movie has suspense, romance, and humor…like most Hitchcock movies.

Three: Rear Window–Jimmy Stewart, laid up with a broken leg, gets to play voyeur when he looks at the apartment building on the other side of the street.  He suspects a man has murdered his wife.  He has.

Four: Spellbound–Hitchcock didn’t think much of this movie, but I enjoy the psuedo-Psychiatry.

Five: Dial M for Murder–A tight screenplay with the twist of a murder plot gone wrong.

Six: Psycho–Hitchcock’s most famous movie.  A cultural icon.

Seven: The Saboteur–Unforgettable scene of the bad guy falling off the Statue of Liberty.

Eight: Foreign Correspondent–Trouble in a wind mill.

Nine: The Birds–Another cultural icon.  A many layered story, though Hitchcock denied there was any deeper meaning than birds going amok.

Ten: Frenzy–The usual blend of Hitchcock humor and suspense.

Eleven: Rebecca–A masterpiece.

Twelve: Shadow of a Doubt–This is Hitchcock’s personal favorite.  What do you do when you discover your favorite uncle is a serial killer?

Thirteen: Rope–2 gay dudes murder their friend for kicks.  Just to see if they can get away with it.  The movie was ahead of its time.

Fourteen: Lifeboat–Survivors of a sunk ship are trapped on a lifeboat with the Nazi submarine commander who just sunk the ship.  What could go wrong?

Fifteen: Notorious–The movie studio executives thought the concept of an atomic bomb was ridiculous and wanted to change the screenplay. A few months after the movie was released, the U.S. dropped atomic bombs on Japan.

Reference:

McGilligan, Patrick

Alfred Hitchcock: A life in darkness and light

Regan Books 2003

 

Led Zeppelin’s “The Lemon Song” is Like a Tribute to Howlin’ Wolf

My wife told me she would play “The Lemon Song” at my funeral, if she outlived me, but when I reminded her of this statement the other day she had a different memory. She claimed I told her to play that song at my funeral.  I think my memory is correct because I’m pretty sure I won’t care what song anyone plays at my funeral.  Our memories differ over other (and more) important  events as well.  The first time we ever made love I remember we employed the reverse cowgirl posture, but she refutes my memory and says it didn’t happen that way.  How could our memories about such an important event be so different?  No matter which one of us chose “The Lemon Song” to accompany my burial, it is my favorite Led Zeppelin Song.

“The Lemon Song” is Led Zeppelin’s version of an old Howlin’ Wolf song known as “The Killing Floor” first released in 1964.  Howlin’ Wolf whose real name was Chester Burnett released at least 2 different versions of “The Killing Floor.”  In 1 version a brass section plays a prominent part and in the other there is no brass section.  The brass copies Howlin’ Wolf’s guitar playing in the former.  The version without a brass section is almost 1 minute longer.  “The Lemon Song” is the 3rd song on Led Zeppelin II released in 1969.  Led Zeppelin II was the best selling rock album of that year.

Chester Burnett aka Howlin’Wolf  influenced rhythm and blues rockers of the 1960s and 1970s.

Led Zeppelin is one of the most popular and successful rock acts of all time.  John Paul Jones (top) and from left to right the late John Bonham, Jimmy Page, and Robert Plant.

In “The Lemon Song” the rhythm guitar and bass open at a slower tempo than in “The Killing Floor,” but John Bonham’s drum beats are heavier and louder.  To be honest I don’t even notice the percussion in “The Killing Floor.”  Then 1:30 into the song, Jimmy Page plays a fast guitar riff that imitates the brass section from “The Killing Floor” for exactly 1 minute.  This is my single favorite guitar riff of all time, and it sounds superior to the original.  After the riff the song slows down again and there is an interplay between Robert Plant’s jazzy blues singing and Jimmy Page’s guitar playing.  Plant interpolates the lyrics “The way you squeeze my lemon, I’m gonna fall right out of bed.”  These lyrics were sung in an earlier song by another blues artist, Robert Johnson, who likely in turn stole them from some unknown blues singer.  The name of the song is a metaphor for a man’s penis, but I suppose they couldn’t name this song “The Dick Song.”  The song is basically raw sexuality.  In the final 30 seconds of the song Jimmy Page repeats his fast guitar riff.  “The Lemon Song” is twice as long as “The Killing Floor,” and Led Zeppelin almost gave it the same name.

This is the version of “The Killing Floor” that has the brass section imitated by Jimmy Page using his electric guitar.  Another version is 30 seconds longer and does not have a brass section.

In this version of “The Killing Floor” Howlin’ Wolf uses his guitar to play what the brass plays in his other version.  His guitar playing is more subtle than Jimmy Page’s interpretation.

My favorite Led Zeppelin song.

While I was researching this article I came across this version of “The Killing Floor” that predates “The Lemon Song” from a group I had never heard of–Electric Flag.  It sounds pretty good.

Jimmy Page says he was paying tribute to the old blues artists when he transformed their work into Led Zeppelin songs.  However, on some occasions Led Zeppelin has been rightly accused of plagiarism, and other artists have successfully sued them for credit and money.  On behalf of Chester Burnett, Arc Records sued Led Zeppelin for their tribute to “The Killing Floor.”  Chester Burnett received a settlement of $45,123 in 1972, and Led Zeppelin added his name to the songwriting credits.  In my opinion I don’t think Jimmy Page stole these songs from malice or greed.  I believe he honestly thought he was paying tribute to these artists by making their songs sound even better.  Page was a drug-addled hippie without a clear understanding of copyright law.  He may have mistakenly believed these songs were part of the public domain (like many old folk songs are) or simply didn’t care.  He was a musician…not a lawyer.  Moreover, when he recorded these songs, he had no idea how popular and financially successful Led Zeppelin was going to be.  He didn’t know they were going to make so much money.

Led Zeppelin did not steal “Stairway to Heaven” from a group called Spirit.  A recent lawsuit claims “Stairway to Heaven” is a rip-off of Spirit’s “Taurus.”  There is a vague similarity at the beginning of the 2 songs, but Rick Beato, a music professor, says they both use the same line cliche` found in at least 25 songs dating back to at least 1938.  “Stairway to Heaven” has a melody over this line cliche`, while “Taurus” does not.

Rick Beato, a music professor, explains how “Stairway to Heaven” is not ripped off from the Spirit song “Taurus.”

The Niles Daily Times (1923-1989), a Defunct Small Town Newspaper

The Georgia Bulldogs have been my favorite football team since 1975, but before then my favorite team was the Niles McKinley Red Dragons.  I rooted for this Ohio high school football team and went to most of their home games between 1969-1975 (until my family moved to Georgia). The Niles Red Dragons enjoyed a 48 game unbeaten streak from 1959-1964 and did not lose an home game from 1958 until 1968.  Within this time span they won 2 state championships and earned an additional undefeated season in 1966, though they finished ranked 2nd in the state that year.  The 1961 team was particularly strong, destroying every team they played by ridiculous scores.   By the time I started following them, Niles still fielded good winning teams but no longer contended for state championships.

Location of Niles, Ohio.  It’s between Youngstown and Warren and is the birth place of President William McKinley.

Headline announcing Niles Red Dragons as the 1963 Ohio state champions.

I occasionally suffer anxiety attacks that interfere with my sleep.  Alcohol or sex calms down my anxiety attacks, but I don’t want to drink more than once a week, and I don’t want to bother my wife at 3 am.  Memorizing old seasons of football scores and reciting them back in my head at night when I am trying to sleep is an alternate cure for my anxiety attacks.  It’s my substitute for counting sheep.  A football season is like a lifespan; there is a beginning, an end, and in between the results can be good, bad, or average–just like a person’s life.  I find this relaxing and the variations and number patterns in the scores also soothes me.  I live many lifespans thinking about these season’s of scores before I eventually relax and fall asleep.  After 1 recent sleep-deprived night I pulled up a library website that holds most of the past issues of the Niles Daily Times, a defunct newspaper published between 1923-1989, and I memorized old seasons of football scores in case I suffered another anxiety attack the next night.  I started turning the pages away from just sports and discovered interesting history in the little things that made up daily living during the middle of the 20th century.

Grocery store ads amused me.  Pork spare ribs advertised for 29 cents a pound, next to sour kraut for 10 cents a pound. Spare ribs and sour kraut (my late grandfather’s favorite)–now there is an old fashioned dish.  Cauliflower–15 cents a pound.  I’m not going to do the math but considering inflation how would that compare to today’s prices?  The local specialties interested me as well.  Winesap apples, then a popular variety, are rarely found in supermarkets today.  Lake Erie pike fillets are definitely not sold in Georgia.  My late grandmother made a great courtboullion with pike.

Farmer’s market ad circa 1960.  Note the prices.

The editorial pages were staunchly anti-communist during the middle of the 20th century.  One editorial justified the overthrow of a democratically elected President in Burma by a military coup because that leader was “playing footsie” with the communists…whatever that means.  A political cartoon suggested unions should rid themselves of communists.  The creator of that cartoon undoubtedly doesn’t understand how unionism is a communist concept.

The anti-communist hysteria of the 1950’s.  This edition was published in 1949.

The comic strips of the 1940’s were not at all funny.  At best they were puzzling–I just didn’t get the joke.  Others were sadistic and violent, kind of like The Three Stooges.  For example a Thimble Theater strip (characters from Popeye) depicted a mermaid slapping some goofball with her tail over some minor slight.  What?  Comic strips started improving during the 1950’s with the introduction of Peanuts, Beatle Bailey, Nancy, The Phantom, and Mark Trail. Radio and tv listings gave entertainment options for the day.  People could listen to Bob Hope, Red Skelton, and Al Jolson during the 1940’s.  Sunday was the best night of television during the early 1960’s with Ed Sullivan followed by Alfred Hitchcock.

I searched for articles about my dad and found 1 from 1963 announcing the opening of his private practice on Robbins Avenue.  My dad offered house calls for $5.  Try getting your doctor to drive to your house for $5 today. We lived in the apartment over my dad’s office until 1970 when my dad could afford to move us to a nicer newer house.  His office was built in 1909 and was a neat old house.  Another article noted a break-in at my dad’s office in 1974.  A drug addict searching for drugs broke into my dad’s office at night, but a bachelor renting the apartment upstairs heard the prowler and called the police.  I still remember the police calling my dad to fill out an arrest report in the middle of the night.

My dad opened his private practice in 1963.

During 1953 the Niles Daily Times reported upon the 150th anniversary of the founding of Niles.  Settlers began arriving in the area during 1803 to process salt at a nearby salt spring.  However, the concentration of salt was too low to make it a profitable enterprise.  Instead, the pioneers turned to farming the land and hunting the deer attracted to the salt lick.  Not long after, some settlers started mining local iron ore and with charcoal made from the abundant oak forests began manufacturing pig iron.  The original name of the town was Heaton’s Furnace named after 1 man’s operation, but was later changed to Niles, named after the publisher of a newspaper in Delaware.  Some of the descendants of the earliest settlers still lived in the town 150 years later.  The original settlers were English, German, and Irish; but as early as 1866 Italian immigrants began arriving to work in the steel mills.  By the time we moved to Niles it was a little Italy with Italians being by far the most common ethnic group.

Perhaps the most interesting historical event in Niles, besides the dominance of the local high school football team during the early 1960’s, was the KKK vs anti-KKK riots of 1924.  The KKK was extremely popular and mainstream during the 1920’s.  The KKK hated Catholics, Jews, and foreigners from Southern Europe, not unlike the way modern Trumpanzees hate Mexicans.  There was a cultural void between white Protestants and Catholics then as well.  The former wanted to enforce prohibition, while Italians wanted to drink wine and Irish wanted to drink whiskey.  The KKK marched through Niles during May of 1924.  The KKK planned to march through town again in June, and they threatened to destroy property and rape nuns.  The Catholics in Niles formed the Knights of the Flaming Circle to defend themselves.  They bombed the mayor’s house because he didn’t revoke the KKK’s permit to march. (Harvey Kistler, the mayor, was reported to be a member of the KKK.)  Niles turned into a war zone for 18 hours when the KKK attempted to march.  There were running gun battles between moving cars, stationary gun fights, and hand-to-hand knife and club fights.  Dozens of people were injured and a few died.  The Ohio governor called in the National Guard and declared martial law that lasted for 10 days.  Over 100 people were arrested, and the National Guard stopped a trainload of Klan reinforcements from West Virginia.

Ironically, the racial integration of Niles resulted from this incident.  The Italian and Irish Catholics asked African-Americans from nearby Youngstown for support in their battle with the KKK, and in return they lifted the ban on black people that had prevented them from moving into houses located in town.  Years later, many white Protestants who marched with the Klan in 1924 were embarrassed over their participation in the riot.  After living alongside Italians for many years they realized Italians were hard-working people just like they were.  Many admitted they joined the Klan to get better jobs and shifts within the mills owned by Klan members.  Most refused to talk about it, and the incident was swept under the rug for decades.

Steel mills in northeastern Ohio began closing down in 1977, decimating the local economy.  Newspapers operate on a fine line between profit and loss, and The Niles Daily Times failed to survive past 1989.  Youngstown still hasn’t regained population lost since 1980.  115,000 people lived there then, almost twice the present day number.  Just this year, even the Youngstown Vindicator went bankrupt and ceased publication.  One paper, The Warren Tribune, serves 2 counties–a population of over 429,000.  Across the country too many local newspapers are going bankrupt and shutting down.  This is a bad trend for democracy.  Without local journalists there are fewer watchdogs uncovering public and private corruption.  To make things worse, the insane President Trump is now suing newspapers and news networks for libel when they are simply reporting the truth.  Trump is suing The Washington Post, The New York Times, and CNN because they reported he asked Russia to interfere in our elections.  But he did–he’s been video recorded asking Russia, China, and the Ukraine to interfere in our elections.  These lawsuits will never hold up in court, but they are costing news organization money in legal fees, and they operate on narrow margins.  Trump is a wannabee dictator who wants to destroy the truth because he knows reality makes him look bad.

My blog is supposed to be nature-oriented, so I would be remiss not to mention an interesting tidbit I came across while researching the archives of The Niles Daily Times.  A nice natural stretch of land exists just west of Niles known as the Mosquito Creek Wilderness Area.  Apparently, before game laws were enacted, hunters from all over the Midwest would come to hunt woodcock along the Mosquito Creek bottomlands.  Some hunters would bag 300 a day–an astonishing number for this species of bird.  Today, 9000 acres of this area are protected and regulated.  Half is 2nd growth oak and maple forest and the rest is wetlands and managed grain fields for ducks and geese.  Hunters shoot waterfowl, deer, fox squirrels, and rabbit.  Mosquito Lake, created in 1944 for flood control and drinking water, was stocked with walleye and is also known for bass, flathead catfish, crappie, and perch.  When I was a boy, I caught the latter species the first time I ever went fishing.  Originally and perhaps still, bullhead catfish were abundant in the creek itself.

Reference:

http://mckinley.advantage-preservation.com/

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is Politically Correct Bullshit

I was listening to NPR the other day and heard 2 women lamenting the low number of female artists inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  They thought the Hall should be more diverse.  What a load of politically correct bullshit!   Rock and Roll was born from a fusion of African rhythm and blues with what used to be known as hillbilly music, but since its birth 70 years ago, a great majority of rock artists have been white males.  Perhaps 85% of rock artists have been white men.  Just think of the greatest rock groups of all time–Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, etc.–and most consist of 4 or 5 white men.  So demographically, it makes sense that most Hall of Fame inductees have been white men.  Induction into the Hall of Fame should be based entirely on talent, musicianship, great song production, and influence; not race, ethnicity, or gender.

A bigger problem with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is its long time prejudice against hard rock/heavy metal, and in recent years its capitulation to the rising tide of political correctness.  I declare Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, and dead gangsta rappers DO NOT belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  They are not rock artists.  How can they even be considered for the Hall of Fame when many of the acts I list below have never been nominated?  The Hall originated in 1983, yet a hard rock/heavy metal band was not inducted until 2003 when AC/DC finally made it in.  Since then, an additional 5 hard rock/heavy metal acts have been inducted but in almost every case it was like pulling teeth.  Rush and Deep Purple were nominated a whole bunch of times before they were eventually inducted.  In other cases the voting committee showed complete ignorance of the genre. Metallica was inducted in 2011, and Guns and Roses were inducted the first time they were nominated a few years later.  This is like inducting Joe Cocker before the Beatles.  Without Judas Priest there would be no Metallica and Guns and Roses.  Yet, Judas Priest, though finally nominated twice, still has not been inducted.

I’m not going to lie.  Judas Priest is my favorite rock band, and as long as they are kept out of the Hall, I’m going to be outraged, especially when younger less talented acts make it in. Nirvana was inducted a few years ago.  Half of 1 of their albums is pretty good.  Judas Priest has made at least 6 albums better than Nirvana’s best.  Green Day has been inducted.  I like Green Day.  But I listened to Judas Priest and Green Day back to back, and compared to Judas Priest, Green Day sounds like shit.  Green Day would not want Judas Priest to open for them.

The following is my list of 15 artists or acts who should already be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and I guarantee they are all better than this year’s inductees.

1. Judas Priest–Judas Priest originated in 1969, and they are still touring and producing quality albums.  These rockers invented thrash metal and influenced countless heavy metal bands but know how to make popular radio friendly songs–something other metal groups struggle to accomplish. They’ve made 18 albums, selling over 50 million copies.  Some of their best albums are British Steel, Screaming for Vengeance, Hell Bent for Leather, and Firepower.  Below is an example of radio friendly metal.

 

2. 10 Years After–10 Years After began in 1960 and are most famous for playing at Woodstock.  They played an heavy blues rock that sounds particularly energetic when performed live and in fact recorded 16 live albums along with 12 studio albums and 26 compilation albums.  They sold over 22 million albums and 8 of them landed on the U.K.’s top 40 list.  Their best songs  include “Going Home,” the thought provoking “I’d Love to Change the World,” and “I Woke up this Morning.”  The below link plays a 10 Years After cover of jazz great Woody Herman’s “Woodchopper’s Ball.” and shows why this band should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame based on musicianship alone.

3. The Scorpions–The Scorpions formed in 1965 and have sold over 110 million albums worldwide.  They are the best rock band to ever come out of Germany.  They are most famous for “Rock you Like a Hurricane,” but Animal Magnetism is the best of their 18 albums.  Nevertheless, they’ve never even been nominated.  Below is a link to 1 of their little known but great songs.

 

4. The Carpenters–The Carpenters have also never been nominated, despite inventing the power ballad and nailing 15 number 1 hits on the top 40 billboard.  All hard rock bands from the mid 1970’s to the late 1980’s had to have 1 power ballad on their albums because they knew you can’t go 150 mph all the time.  Some times you have to slow down and enjoy the scenery.  The Carpenters were a big influence on hard rock, though all of their songs are soft rock and easy listening.  The critics who have kept them out of the Hall are the same critics who love Elvis Costello and inducted him years ago.  Elvis Costello made 1 song that got a little radio play over 30 years ago, but no songs he ever wrote are close to being as good as any Carpenter’s song.

It may be a mellow, but just listen to the wall of sound on this song.

5. Bernie Taupin–He wrote the lyrics for 99% of Elton John’s songs.  Without Bernie Taupin no one would have ever heard of Reginald Dwight, aka Elton John.  His absence from the Hall is an astonishing oversight.

6. Ozzy Osbourne–He’s already in as the lead singer for Black Sabbath, but his solo career has arguably surpassed the quality of his work with Black Sabbath.  “Crazy Train,” “Flying High Again,” “I just want you,” and “No More Tears” are some of his most outstanding songs.

Ozzy Osbourne is already in the Hall as a member of Black Sabbath, but his solo career has arguably surpassed the group that spawned his career.

7. Boston–Boston is another group never even nominated.  Their music is very polished rock.  All 8 songs from their debut album still get heavy radio play on classic rock stations today over 40 years after it was released. I think people don’t realize how good they are because their songs are overplayed and taken for granted.

The cover of Boston’s first album.  All 8 songs from this album still get heavy radio play on classic rock stations.

8. The Monkees–The Monkees were a made for television band, but their music became more popular than the tv show.  At first they weren’t even allowed to play their instruments.  Eventually, they did compose their own songs.  During 1967 they sold more albums than The Beatles and The Rolling Stones.  I don’t care what anybody says–I like their music and they deserve to be in the Hall.

9. Huey Lewis and the News–The Hall seems to have skipped over a big chunk of 1980’s music.  Huey Lewis recorded 9 albums that sold over 30 million copies, and his music videos played constantly on MTV through the early 1990’s.  They are known for such iconic hits as “I Need a New Drug,” “Heart of Rock and Roll,” “Perfect World,” and “Hip to be Square.”  Another never been nominated snub.

His 2nd album.  This album alone should get Huey Lewis and the News into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

10. Robert Plant–He’s already in as the lead singer for Led Zeppelin, but he has had an outstanding solo career.  He’s released 11 studio albums including Pictures at Eleven, Manic Nirvana, and the critically acclaimed Mighty Re-Arranger. 

I was listening to Robert Plant’s Manic Nirvana album the first time I laid eyes on my wife.

11. Blue Oyster Cult–Blue Oyster Cult originated during 1967 in New York.  “Don’t Fear the Reaper” is their most famous song, but they had a number of other hits including “Godzilla,” “Burning for You,” and “Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll.”  They’ve sold over 22 million albums, and their induction into the Hall is long overdue.  They were nominated once.

This song alone should get BOC in the Hall.

12. Joe Cocker–Joe Cocker is best known for his Beatles covers such as his version of “A Little Help from my Friends,” but he has many great songs of his own–“You are so Beautiful,” “High Time we Went,” and “The Letter.”

This song always makes me think of a woman who would write a letter about me to Penthouse Forum.

13. The B-52’s–The B-52’s originated in Athens, Georgia and were a big influence on the New Wave rock of the early 1980’s.  They are yet another 1980’s band ignored by the Hall.  They had a unique sound that no other band could duplicate.

What a unique sound.

14. The Georgia Satellites–Yes, another 1980’s band ignored by the Hall.  “Keep your Hands to Yourself” is their most famous song and was played often on MTV during the mid-1980’s.  That song reminds me of my first date, but their song “Tied Down with Battle Ship Chains,” reminds me of my marriage.

This song reminds me of marriage.

15. Ted Nugent–Ted Nugent, also known as the Motor City Mad Man because he hails from Detroit, will never get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, though he deserves it.  He is just too politically incorrect.  I don’t care if he does make racist comments and said he’d like to stick a machine gun up Hillary Clinton’s vagina, his music is great.  “Cat Scratch Fever” alone is enough to get him in the Hall.  Personally, I think he’s an howling idiot when it comes to politics, but I still love his guitar playing.  When the Hall of Fame airs their induction ceremony on HBO later this year, I am turning the television off and listening to “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang,” (studio version) and “Wango Tango.”

 

 

 

Joe Valachi, the Man Who Revealed the Existence of the Mafia

Until 1962 law enforcement officials considered rumors of the existence of a mysterious organization known as the mafia to be a myth or exaggeration.  Then a low level mafia soldier, fearing for his life while inside prison, began telling narcotics agents and the FBI everything he knew in exchange for protective custody.  Joe Valachi is the man who revealed the existence of the mafia.

Joe Valachi was born in 1904 in the Harlem neighborhood of New York City when it was mostly Italian.  His father worked as a vegetable vendor, then later earned his living as a garbageman.  The Valachi family lived in an apartment with no running water and a coal furnace that kept everything inside covered in soot.  Valachi’s father was a brutal alcoholic, and his mother frequently walked around with black eyes.  Not surprisingly considering his upbringing, at the age of 11 Joe Valachi threw a rock and hit his teacher in the face, and he was sent to a Catholic reform school where many of the priests regularly molested children.  (Valachi mentioned this in The Valachi Papers 30 years before the Catholic pedophilia scandal broke into the national news.)  After he was released from reform school he returned to public school but dropped out at the age of 15.  He worked as a  garbage man with his father but was forced to give his entire paycheck to his dad.  For his own spending money he started a career in burglary.  He organized a 4 team gang, known as the minutemen because they could totally loot a store in a minute.  He stayed behind the wheel of a getaway car, while 1 guy smashed into a store front window with a trash can and took the loot stolen by a 3rd accomplice.  The 4th stood as a lookout.  They would then sell the loot to a fence.  They were successful for a while, but eventually Joe was busted and sent to Sing Sing Prison.

Joe served a short stint in prison.  His old gang had hired a new getaway driver, so Joe started a new burglary gang that included some Irish and Jewish gangsters.  They were so successful Joe bought a nice new car under a phony name.  The car was faster than any police vehicle.  But once again police caught him in the act.  The gang fled, and a policeman shot Joe in the head.  His friends carried him around the corner and fired shots in the air, hoping an ambulance would pick him up after they left the scene.  They came back 6 hours later and found Joe still alive, undiscovered by the police, so they took him to a doctor on the take.  During his recovery Joe, still foggy from the gun shot wound to his head, let his friends retrieve his car which was still on the scene of the aborted burglary.  The police had the car staked out, followed it back to Joe’s apartment, and arrested him.  He served a 2nd stint in prison.

Upon his release Joe started looking for a new crooked scheme because police were installing radios in their cars, making his old style of burglary too risky.  The mafia recruited him and many other gangsters and crooks during 1930 when there was a major war between Joe Messeria and Salvatore Manzanaro. Each side was looking for additional soldiers to beef up their strength.  Manzanaro won the war because Lucky Luciano and Dutch Shultz switched sides and figuratively stabbed Messaria in the back.  Manzanaro organized the mafia into a structure that lasted for decades–there were bosses, underbosses, lieutenants, and soldiers.  Manazanaro appointed himself “boss of all bosses.”  Valachi never rose above the rank of soldier, but he became 1 of Manzanaro’s drivers and bodyguards.  Unfortunately for Valachi, Lucky Luciano stabbed Manzanaro in the back a few months later and became the new boss of all bosses, though he never officially accepted the title.  Valachi went into hiding because as Manazanaro’s personal bodyguard, he rightly believed this made him a marked man.  But his low ranking saved him (he wasn’t important enough to purge), and he ended up working for Tony Bender, a lieutenant under Vito Genovese, Lucky Luciano’s underboss.

Vito Genovese, 1 of the most feared mobsters of all time.  He unfairly accused Valachi of being a rat, while they were both in prison.  This forced Valachi to flip.

Joe Valachi, testifying before Congress.  The testimony was kind of a fiasco.  Goofy politicians asked him stupid questions.  For example a Senator from Nebraska asked him if there was organized crime in Omaha.  Valachi had no idea where Omaha was located.

Lucky Luciano let Valachi and a partner have 20 slot machines located in various bars and candy stores, and this was lucrative for him for awhile, but Mayor Lagaurdia cracked down on this vice, so Valachi got into the numbers racquet.  The numbers are a kind of illegal lottery–the winning numbers then were based on the unpredictable pay-off results of the first 3 horse races at a local track.  During the 1930s this was Valachi’s main source of income, but he also made money as a loan shark.  Debts acquired from loan sharking allowed him to become part-owner of a restaurant and dress factory, and financially he was doing really well.  He owned race horses too.  The late 1930s were successful for Valachi.  Lucky Luciano went to prison, Vito Genovese fled to Italy to avoid a murder charge, and the smarter, more business-oriented Frank Costello took over.

The advent of World War II and the end of the depression ruined Valachi’s main businesses.  Everybody had good jobs, and they didn’t need to borrow money or play an illegal lottery.  So Valachi began selling stolen war ration gas stamps, and this tided him over until the end of the war when his numbers and loan-sharking rackets picked up again.  However, Genovese was arrested by American troops in Italy and returned to the U.S. to face murder charges.  He beat the rap by having a corroborating witness poisoned, and he was able to force Frank Costello to retire.  Genovese ordered many hits, and Valachi arranged some of them.  He wasn’t paid to arrange these hits…it was just part of his job duties as a soldier working for Genovese.  Valachi didn’t like having to share his money-making schemes with the higher-ups and he didn’t like having to arrange murders, but he had no alternative.

Valachi suffered business reverses during the late 1950s.  The Narcotics Bureau pressured local authorities to revoke the alcohol license for Valachi’s restaurant, effectively killing it, then his dress factory partner died.  He couldn’t find another partner because his previous partner hadn’t been paying employee tax withholding, and the government seized the factory equipment.  Valachi was forced to turn to narcotics dealing and had to share in the profits with Tony Bender and Genovese.  The feds busted Valachi, and in a separate case nailed Genovese.  They both ended up in a federal penitentiary in Atlanta.  Genovese wrongly thought Valachi had ratted him out, so he ordered a hit on him in prison.  A man who looked similar to 1 of Genovese’s men walked past Valachi in a prison yard, and Valachi hit him over the head with a pipe, killing him.  The man was just a white collar criminal with no mafia connections.  The authorities put Valachi on death row, so to save his own life, he started telling the Bureau of Narcotics, and the FBI agents everything he knew about the mafia.  The federal agents realized his story corroborated evidence they had, and they put him in protective custody.  Valachi even testified before Congress about the activities of organized crime.  Valachi died of an heart attack in 1971, 2 years after Genovese died of the same thing.

Reference:

Maas, Peter

The Valachi Papers

Bantam Books 1968

 

Woody Allen is Probably Innocent

Self-righteous Hollywood celebrities and political talking heads who condemn Woody Allen for an alleged incident of child molestation unfairly ignore the facts of this case.  The hysteria of the #metoo movement threatens to sweep up many innocent men into an automatic public assumption of guilt, and Woody Allen is 1 of them.  I studied the facts of this case, and I don’t see how any fair minded person can assume Woody Allen was guilty.  The facts strongly suggest he was completely innocent, and the alleged incident was the invention of a jilted lover in the middle of a custody battle.

I think Mia Farrow is a crazy, jealous actress who was furious that her adopted adult daughter won Woody’s heart.  She used false accusations of child molestation to win a custody battle against him.

Woody and Soon-Yi, together for 27 years.  They adopted children.  Adoption agencies don’t normally award custody to people they think are child molesters.  Hint: the adoption agencies also investigated the accusation and believe it to be false.

Woody Allen began having an affair with Soon-Yi Previn, the adopted daughter of Mia Farrow, in 1991 when she was between the ages of 19-21 (her real age is unknown–she grew up in an orphanage after being found in the streets of Korea).  Contrary to popular belief, Woody was not Soon-Yi’s father, and he took no part in raising her.  Mia Farrow discovered the affair, but she still continued seeing Woody Allen for almost a year.  However, during this time she began accusing Woody Allen of being a child molester.  Note, this is before the alleged incident took place.  Woody and Mia had 2 adopted children together including Dylan in addition to 1 biological child.  The alleged incident occurred in 1992 during Dylan’s 7th birthday party when supposedly Woody took Dylan up in an attic where he allegedly molested her.  However, there were 7 other people at that birthday party, and nobody saw them go into the attic.  Later, the babysitter claimed she saw Woody put his face in Dylan’s lap, and this seems to be the origin of the accusation.

Instead of reporting the incident to the police, Mia filmed Dylan, describing what had happened.  There are numerous starts and stops in the film which took 2 days to complete–obviously Mia was coaching her.  The pediatrician who examined Dylan found no evidence of molestation.  Connecticut state authorities then investigated the incident.  They concluded Dylan had not been molested, and they determined she was either mentally disturbed, coached, or a combination of the two.  When these investigators interviewed Dylan, the child seemed to be uninterested in the details, and merely expressed sympathy for her mother because Woody had cheated on her with Soon-Yi.  New York state authorities also investigated the incident, and they too concluded Dylan had not been molested.  A clinical psychologist reviewed the case and testified in a custody hearing that Dylan had not been molested.  A nanny who was in attendance at the birthday party testified at the custody hearing that Mia had pressured her to claim she saw Woody molesting Dylan–more strong evidence that Mia had fabricated the entire incident.  In recent years, Moses, 1 of Dylan’s brothers, admitted Mia coached the children into believing Woody was a child molester.  So there we have it:  Woody was exonerated by 2 state authorities, a pediatrician, and a clinical psychologist.  Furthermore, the nanny and Dylan’s brother exposed Mia’s vindictive conspiracy.

People who believe Woody is guilty bring up the judge’s ruling when he awarded custody of the children to Mia. The judge stated he saw no evidence Dylan had been coached, though he was not 1 of the experts who actually interviewed her.  That judge was an asshole unfairly prejudiced by a prosecuting attorney who claimed he had enough probable cause to arrest Woody but didn’t because he was afraid it would traumatize Dylan.  That prosecutor was later reprimanded for prejudicing this case.  I think many people, especially women,  are condemning Woody because he has had a successful relationship with a woman who is 30 years younger than he is, not because of the alleged child molestation.

I never heard of a child molester who was accused of molesting just 1 victim. Most child molesters are serial predators with a long list of victims, but  Woody has never been accused of molesting any other child.  Usually, 1 accusation of a public celebrity is followed by many others as they gain courage when they learn about fellow victims.  That nobody else has come out of the woodwork to accuse Woody is more strong evidence he is innocent.  In fact he married Soon-Yi in 1997 and they are still together.  This must really rankle Mia and Dylan.  I think Mia is simply a vindictive jilted lover who brainwashed her daughter.  Now, whenever Woody is up for an award, Dylan makes public statements condemning Woody for something that very likely never happened.  I think she is a brainwashed psycho.  Nevertheless, more and more actors and actresses ignorantly believe this nonsense and announce they will no longer work with Woody.  How unfair.

Mia Farrow demonstrates incredible hypocrisy.  Despite probably orchestrating a false slander campaign against Woody, she publicly defends real convicted child molesters.  She has issued statements supporting her brother and Roman Polanski.  Her brother is currently in prison for molesting 2 boys, and Roman Polanski admitted drugging and raping a 13 year old girl.  How ironic.

The Senility Episode of Supernatural

My wife and I watch every episode of the television series, Supernatural.  The heroes of the show are 2 brothers who travel around the U.S. to hunt monsters.  It is a successful formula because the show is currently on its 14th season.  The brothers battle ghosts and ghouls, vampires and werewolves, changelings and evil genies, witches and warlocks; and nefarious organizations that occasionally masquerade as allies in the brother’s war on monsters.  The brothers often confront demons and overzealous avenging angels; and both have died, gone to hell, and been brought back to life. Grim reapers are recurring characters on the show, and even God and the devil guest star on some episodes.

Sam and Dean Winchester played by Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki.

The premises of some episodes are remarkably inventive.  My favorite was when the brothers discovered their adventures had been chronicled by a writer in a series of obscure books with a cult fan following…but he had published the books before the events occurred and he narrated their exact thoughts.  The writer turned out to be a prophet of God.  In another episode the brothers were transported into the real world where they were just actors in the fictional tv series, Supernatural.  Perhaps the most original episode was when the brothers got stuck in a Scooby Doo cartoon.

Season 12 episode 11 dealt with senility.  The episode entitled “Regarding Dean” superficially was about a witch’s spell that caused 1 of the brothers to gradually lose his memory.  The other brother panics when he realizes the memory loss kept getting worse.  Really, this episode was about Alzheimer’s disease and how the victim and their loved ones suffer the consequences of dementia.  Eventually, Sam figures out how to reverse the witch’s curse, and Dean regains his memories.  But in real life there is no cure for the 2 leading causes of dementia–Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.

My mom suffers from dementia and her decline has been shocking and rapid.  Within about a year’s time she went from being a little off on little things to being unable to walk and incapable of consistently communicating.  She primarily shows symptoms of Parkinson’s disease, but she also shows signs of Alzheimer’s, and it is not uncommon for people to suffer mixed dementia.  Symptoms of Parkinson’s include tremors, muscle rigidity, slowness in movement, change in posture, freezing when walking (leading to frequent falls), weakness in facial muscles, insomnia and falling out of bed, and constipation.  People with Alzheimer’s suffer from memory loss–they misplace objects, get lost in familiar places, and can’t remember family members.  Parkinson’s is caused by low dopamine levels in the brain; Alzheimer’s is the result of brain cell death.

Last time I visited my mom she made very few coherent statements.  When we entered her room she said, “hello Mark and Daphne.”  After that she mostly repeated words over and over or spoke long strings of nonsensical syllables and vowels, much like a baby babbles.  She would fall asleep between babbling.  The only other coherent statement I remember her making during our visit was “lamp, lamp, lamp, lamp, lamp, I don’t think I’ll ever be really well again.”  The nurse’s aid who takes care of her made an encouraging statement.  She said “sure, you will.”  It’s sad my mom is aware enough to understand her situation.  I understood the symbolism of her repeating lamp over and over.  It meant the light bulb in her head clicked, and she remembered how to tell us what she probably had been trying to say for most of our visit.  I can’t stand seeing my mom in this condition, but I can’t do anything about it.

Parkinson’s disease is an inheritable condition that runs in my family.  My great-grandfather had it.  My grandfather had it.  And my uncle has it. I don’t want to ever be like this…so senile that I can’t remember how to chew and swallow my food.  Some scientific studies suggest drinking wine may help prevent dementia.  The polyphenols in grapes may stop the environmental wear and tear on the brain.  I’ve long thought white wine was the antidote to dementia, but red wine has 8 times more polyphenols.  Red grape juice would probably work as well as wine, but it is not as fun to drink.  So I am going to keep drinking lots of wine.

If I ever start to show symptoms of dementia, I’ve thought about stepping in front of a bus.  But I might survive, and the driver might suffer from guilt.  An alternative might be to have some heavy women sit on my face and smother me to death while she holds my erection.  (If I could choose my death, this would be it.  What a way to go.)  But again, that might cause her to suffer from guilt, not to mention possible jail time.  The only solution then will be to drink myself to death.  Any 1 of these 3 options beats dying of dementia.