The Animal Finders Guide

Dogs and cats make the best pets.  Both species have evolved to live with people, and evidence suggests they adopted us rather than vice-versa.  Dogs (Canis familiaris) evolved from wolves (Canis lupus) that hung around hunter-gatherers to feed upon the camp’s discarded meat refuse.  Cats (Felis cattus) evolved from Eurasian wildcats (Felis sylvestri) that hunted small rodents attracted to agricultural people’s stores of grain.  The close proximity between humans and cats and dogs over thousands of years has strengthened the traits that make them such fine companions.  The same is not true for exotic wild animals, yet many people like to keep these potentially dangerous and unpredictable animals as pets.  They should stick with dogs and cats.

ChristmasCard 001

December issue of The Animal Finders Guide, a publication for exotic animal breeders looking to sell or buy.

The Animal Finders Guide is a kind of want ad publication used by people looking to buy or sell exotic animals.  Many states have minimal or no laws regulating this trade.  I recently purchased a copy of this publication because I was curious what kinds of exotic animals are available.  Some of these breeders are willing to ship their animals in a crate, while others won’t deal the animal unless they meet the buyer in person and are assured they are equipped to handle it.  This demonstrates the varying degree of care people have for their animals.  Some of the species  listed for sale in the publication aren’t particularly exotic–camels, obscure breeds of cattle, reindeer, and swans.  Camels seem to be especially popular.  They’ve been domesticated for thousands of years, so I think they might make good pets for people who live in the country.

White double humped Bactrian camel.  This variety seems to be a big deal for camel breeders.

However, I think some people must be out of their minds to want to raise some of the other species for sale.  African crested porcupines sell for $1500.  The spines must be a hazard when handling.  A sloth costs $2000.  Peccaries can be had for $300.  Someone is selling an adult baboon for $300.

Who in their right mind would want to own a baboon?  They have bigger fangs than a dog, plus a dog can just bite…a baboon can grab and bite, so that the victim can’t even pull away.  If you are crazy, you can buy one for $300.

Pet marmoset–a much safer choice of primate than a baboon.  They sell for at least $1500.

Bottle fed zebras go for $5000.  Unlike horses, zebras can not be tamed enough to ride.  A red kangaroo just out of the pouch costs $1500.  A coati-mundi is only $150.

Bottle feeding a baby kangaroo.  Looks cute now, but an adult kangaroo can disembowel a man with a single kick to the gut.

In the particular December issue I purchased, there were no ads for sellers of big cats, but there was a listing for a buyer seeking cougar kittens.  I just can’t understand why anyone would want to keep a cat that could snap his neck or bite through his windpipe.

The December issue of The Animal Finders Guide has a number of interesting articles about rearing exotic animals.  Perhaps the most interesting was one about raising elk which can be raised like beef cattle for meat.  There was also an arch conservative editorial entitled “If the Cities Burn.”  In this editorial Pat Hoctor, the publisher of the Animal Finders Guide, denounces the liberal media, the Supreme Court, and modern schools that supposedly, according to Mr. Hoctor, don’t teach reading, writing, and history. (I know this is bullshit–my daughter just made it through a public school system and she was definitely taught all 3 of these subjects.)  He finished his rant by claiming newspapers are full of lies (I wonder where he gets his news) and how city dwellers are misled and uneducated.  Wow!  He sounds like a lonely bitter old man who hates city slickers.  Maybe he should cheer up and try to find a date on Farmersonly.com.

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2 Responses to “The Animal Finders Guide”

  1. James Smith Says:

    A few years ago I was in a local mall. There were people walking around the place (it was nearing Christmas time) all dressed up like Steve Irwin (khaki shorts). They each had these cute little marsupial creatures that they were selling to anyone who wanted to buy one. I was horrified and frankly pissed off. Not even sure what the little animals were, but I suspect they were sugar gliders. The next day the crew were all gone. What they were doing was at least questionable, and very well may have been illegal. Hopefully they were shut down, but I’d hate to think they were gone because they’d sold out their stock of the little animals (all of whom appeared to be utterly terrified). I was doubly shocked because this was in the most upscale mall in the Carolinas (South Park Mall).

  2. markgelbart Says:

    I doubt it was illegal. Most states have no laws regulating the sale of exotic animals.

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